(A compilation of the most essential statements from some previously

published articles from this author)

 

Patience is a virtue, especially when facing the everyday tackles of life.

Therefore, once you made your choice to establish yourself in one location,

go for it, even when things get a little tough. Don’t forget the

cumbersomeness of your previous environment, so that you start

over-romanticizing it, and encounter the irresistible inner-desire to go

back. Giving in to that impulse as soon as the slightest setback occurs will

turn you into a yoyo, restlessly moving back and forth, and never obtaining

peace of mind.

 

Failure is not just for losers. We all fail regularly. We just don’t admit

it, and part of the reason for that may be that the world has taught us not

to see regular failures as such. They are generally accepted as the way to

go: catching people making mistakes in order to show off on our skills;

waiting for opportunities to prove their merit before jumping into them;

following trends instead of setting them; focusing on our victory at the

expense of another’s loss; running a one-man show when others should be

involved: these are all failures that we can correct. All we have to do is

tuning into our spiritual awareness, and we shall be alerted.

 

Mentorism is an asset, so find yourself a mentor. And keep in mind, that he

or she does not have to resemble you. In other words: women can (or maybe

even should) have male mentors, and a minority member can have a

non-minority mentor. Also, don’t think that you, the mentee, are the only

one benefiting from this relationship. The mentor will experience great

advantages too, as a mentee is usually a devoted person who will make him-

or herself available to-, and speak highly of the mentor. And what is better

for one’s reputation and self-esteem than a walking advertisement?

 

Nurture your emotional intelligence. So far it seems that every time the

quality of our life progresses, our mentality regresses. At the same time

that we develop our great inventions, we also cultivate master-skills in

making each other’s life impossible. Worse: we refuse to make the progress

we obtain in one part of our planet available to other parts, thereby

directly contradicting our religious teachings that we are all brothers and

sisters, and that we should share with one another. The bare boned truth is,

that we don’t trust one another, and, sadly enough, have allowed our

civilization to descend to a level where we don’t have any reason to!

 

Scrutinize your behavior regularly. The leaders who will be most successful

in modifying co-workers’ behavior are the ones who don’t mind modifying

their own. These are the leaders that enhance the learning mentality in

their workplace. They try to lay their hands on every release of knowledge,

whether it’s a seminar, a book, or a movie, and as lifelong learners, they

inspire others to do the same.

 

Success is nothing more than doing what you like: executing your passion.

So, do what you like most, and do it in a setting you feel comfortable with.

If you can achieve that, you are successful. And happy! And if others call

it selfish, that’s fine.

 

Happiness is strongly linked to flexibility. When, for instance, two people

are striving for a single, indivisible goal, the one who finally reaches it

will be successful and happy. The other will then have to be flexible and

redirect his or her focus onto something new. If one goal turns out to be

unachievable, most of us fortunately have the suppleness to redefine our

desire and go for the newly formulated goal.

 

There is no all-encompassing success formula for raising children Therefore,

if you want to do a good job as a parent; the best way is to listen and to

communicate. And to tell your children that you want to be their friend, but

that you are their parent as well, and that they cannot expect the

impossible from you, which would be: shrugging when they make the same

mistakes over and over again. Yes, you will not turn your back upon your

child under any circumstance, but the perspectives have to be set straight.

Period.

 

The crab bucket mentality is very much alive. Everywhere: it is not just

limited to larger environments, such as countries and cities, but it exists

in work environments as well.  An example? No matter how good your

intentions are; if you leave your old environment, gain knowledge and

experience, return as a changed person, and try to share the knowledge you

gained with your old friends and relatives, they will have a hard time

accepting it. People are generally more willing to accept instructions from

strangers than from old acquaintances. Just make sure you are not one of the

crabs…

 

Outsourcing is today’s reality. Deal with it responsibly: invest in

yourself. Learn as much as you can, and stay abreast of developments. Make

yourself multi-applicable, and try to maintain more than one source of

income. If you have the choice between a raise or training, choose for the

latter. It will turn out to be a lucrative long-term investment in the

organization called: You

 

Most of the lemons that life throws at us were initiated by our own choices.

So, learning to make lemonade should be one of our basic skills. However, we

should also develop the sensitivity and astuteness to first detect whether a

lemon is really a lemon, or just looks like one: many opportunities disguise

themselves as troubles at first sight. The art is to see through them.

 

Adhering to one single ideology is silly. Real success is only achievable

when all mindsets are in harmony with each other. Spirituality in the

workplace, for instance, is the very epitome of sprinkling a socialistic

dust in a capitalistic environment: moderating competition, while enhancing

cooperation; valuing individualism, while enhancing team performance; being

unique, while feeling interconnected…

 

Hope is a powerful phenomenon that, no matter how often ridiculed, can never

be discarded as insignificant. There are many emotions underlying,

surrounding, and radiating from hope: attitude, action, success, endurance,

patience, resilience, postiveness, risk-taking, goal setting, strategizing,

and belief, to name a few. Hope is the driver behind our actions, the fuel

in our pipes, the wind beneath our wings.

 

Freedom is only possible when you get rid of over sensitivity toward the

actions of others. Remember: if you want to be free, you have to grant

others the same. Suing left and right is no sign of freedom, but a

concerning token of increasing mental, emotional, and spiritual captivity.

It enhances fear within society, and it confines spontaneity to robotic

levels. If we want to live and work pleasantly with each other, we will have

to be willing to give and take. Otherwise, we are only fooling ourselves

with our cries for more connection. For being connected means: opening

yourself; being vulnerable; and risking the chance of being hurt.

 

 

Joan Marques, Burbank, April 17, 2004

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About the Author:

Joan Marques emigrated from Suriname, South America, to California, U.S., in

1998. She holds a doctorate in Organizational Leadership, a Master’s in

Business Administration, and is currently a university instructor in

Business and Management in Burbank, California. You may visit her web sites

at http://www.joanmarques.com <http://www.joanmarques.com/>  and

http://www.spiritcounts.com <http://www.spiritcounts.com/>

Joan's manual "Feel Good About Yourself," a six part series to get you over

the bumps in life and onto success, can be purchased and downloaded at:

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