5 Ways to lose the loser and lead the leader within you.

 

I am not sure whether there is anyone on this earth who – in his or her

right mind – would acknowledge that he or she is a loser. Oh yes, many of us

have faced various circumstances under which we would readily admit that we

failed, but then there are other moments - when our self-esteem is somewhat

more intact - that we will find multiple justifications for the less

fortunate outcomes we encountered at some time or another.

 

But you know what? Failure is not just a thing for losers. We all fail

regularly. We just don’t admit it, and part of the reason for that may be

that the world has taught us not to see those regular failures as such. They

are generally accepted as the way to go. Nonetheless, they are failures, and

our spiritual awareness alerts us about them, whether we want to listen or

not. Even when we are at the height of success in everyone else’s eyes, we

know our own dark secrets: We are aware of our deepest thoughts and

feelings, and the actions, perceptions and tendencies we are less proud of.

 

So, what could be some of the loser elements in even the most successful

seeming person?

Let’s name a few and analyze them right away:

 

1. Trying to catch people making mistakes instead of trying to detect the

best in them. Few people would list that as a failure, but it is just that

when perceived from a spiritual perspective. Now, one could ask, “Well, if

we know that, why, then, do most of us still maintain that tendency?”  The

answer is simple: we love to excel in the eyes of colleagues, supervisors,

or subordinates, and if we can catch another person doing something wrong we

can show off how smart we are. It is much harder to learn how to focus on

things done well by others, and genuinely express our respect and admiration

for that, than to find others making mistakes.

 

2. Going for opportunities only after they have proven their profitability

rather than seizing them in their earliest stages: It is the excessive

cautiousness that is ingrained in most of us that leads to mediocrity

instead of excellence. Most of us are too scared to take the risk of being

crushed, so we wait at the sideline to see what the daredevils accomplish.

And, of course, by the time that the results from those daredevils are in,

the best chances have been taken as well!

 

3. Analyzing trends instead of setting them: No matter how many gurus will

write about radicalism, and no matter how many times reality proves to us

that the art of living is about anticipating and being prepared for

surprises, we continue to analyze trends. This is not necessarily a bad

thing, but we should also know by now that the most successful people

arrived in their privileged position, not because of analyzing trends, but

because of creating the surprises that ridicule those trends: They decided

to be the change they wanted to see in the world…

 

4. Assuming that there can only be victory if one of the two negotiating

parties loses. We all fall into that trap now and then, because it is build

upon an old pattern of thinking: We want to prove others wrong to establish

our right. For the longest time, indeed, business was about winners and

losers. But by now we should realize that business can also be about winners

and winners. What better feeling is there than when all parties are

satisfied?

 

5. Making change a one-man show rather than a collective effort: Too many

change strategies, although fundamentally justified, have derailed because

the implementer failed to involve all stakeholders. This is one of the

critical parts of a spiritual approach in every workplace: making people

feel that their opinions matter: listening to their points of view, and then

setting out a strategy that entails: 1) creating a level of dissatisfaction

with the status quo, in order to fertilize the soil for change; 2) detecting

the change proponents and building a change coalition with them; 3)

systematically working with the change-proponents to astutely convince the

reactionaries of the benefit of this change for all.

 

In sum, here are thus the 5 ways to lose the loser and lead the leader

within you:

1. Catch people doing good things.

2. Go for opportunities early on.

3. Be a trendsetter.

4. Focus on victory for all parties.

5. Involve everyone all the time.

 

If you manage to scrutinize your behavior and thought processes from now on,

and install an inner alert button whenever you tend to deviate from the 5

points above, and slide back into the 5 earlier mentioned failures, you will

be able to lastingly lose the loser and lead the leader within you.

 

Joan Marques, Burbank, April 16, 2004

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About the Author:

Joan Marques emigrated from Suriname, South America, to California, U.S., in

1998. She holds a doctorate in Organizational Leadership, a Master’s in

Business Administration, and is currently a university instructor in

Business and Management in Burbank, California. You may visit her web sites

at http://www.joanmarques.com <http://www.joanmarques.com/>  and

http://www.spiritcounts.com <http://www.spiritcounts.com/>

Joan's manual "Feel Good About Yourself," a six part series to get you over

the bumps in life and onto success, can be purchased and downloaded at:

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